Composed 4/16/14
Description: (Day 16 of NaPoWriMo) Today’s poem was inspired by my car, which wouldn’t start thankyouverymuch. However, the sputtering of my ailing car battery did speak to me.
I
rush through the rooms of life
and slip on facts, theories, stats
snorting knowledge up the nose
and packing BS in the gaps
I stuff some sense inside my head
and pick up, stack up fun and friends
and push it, pump it to my heart
then rip it out as life begins
Guzzling advice at every turn
for schools, for jobs, fashion, and men
never thinking of my loves
but only where I could get in
And still I swipe up all the keys
that they say will lead to success
and now as I hit the door
I’m dragged down by this collaged mess
And I’m
stomping, sliding
round and round
down the stairs to destiny
And regardless of my preparing
I’m still rushed, naïve, not ready
I
unlock the door
I
jam in the keys
and I spuh-spuh-sputter
sputter on
And no wonder
‘cause I’ve been on
and never ceasing
and yet all you are expecting
for me to just continue racing
Won’t you just let me
recharge?
Love the rhythm
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Thanks! That’s great to hear, because I reworked the flow to this poem several times… I really wanted to convey a “rushed” feeling at the beginning that eventually got interrupted and tripped up.
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You did that perfectly. The flow matches the subject and enhances the feeling of rushing, and the way the rhythm is broken at the end makes those lines even more powerful
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