On Reaching Out

Composed 1/15/18
Description: n/a

My thoughts on love have polarized, metastasized
Spreading from brain, to heart, to thighs
I cannot imagine looking into your eyes
And seeing a reflection of me inside

I’ve been on both sides
A distant, disinterested foil of pursuit
A piner who quiets without conclusion
Now I care not to even glance in your direction
Such a farfetched fantasy
I cannot even feign the words to my untold story

These butterflies
Are angst and disgust
Not lovesickness
Lovers seem like strangers
A foreigner – I will never understand
And I have failed to assimilate

Trying
Might yield something
But I’m busy
It’s embarrassing

I see others with their limited successes
Their mediocre second tries
And I cannot find
The will, the desire
To extend my arm and spread open my fingers
To reach

If fate doesn’t deliver you into my hands
I believe I will busy them
In other worthy pursuits

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Tired

Composed 4/5/17
Description: I’m there. I’m sure you’ve been there. For NaPoWriMo.

Mindless motions are how
I muddle through monotonous days
Once filled with frenzied excitement
Those same enticing tasks
Emit exasperated sighs
Can I survive
A few more days?

Funeral

Composed 4/20/16
Description: For Day 20 of NaPoWriMo. I tried to stick with what I did last year and write something befitting of this particular date.

Today I feel like I shriveled up and died
So give me a Viking funeral
Blow me away
And watch me fly

Sensitivity

Composed 4/19/16
Description: For Day 19 of NaPoWriMo. Sometimes you struggle for inspiration and then you just look in the mirror…

They say a cold touch
Means your heart is on fire
But what does it mean when
My skin alights at the faintest touch?
A fingerprint will leave a mark
The leaning edge of a countertop a knife
Pressing scars along my arms

Pressing matters do not alarm me
A slap would rarely enrage
Does my skin overcompensate?
Hint to what lies beneath its rapid color
A blush, a semblance of pain
Where inside all is pale and even
Perhaps it’s too tame so my skin must
Flame so I seem
Human

Apathy

Composed 1/10/14
Description: n/a

I see others succeed
And I think
That could have been me
If I tried

But I didn’t

And
It’s too late now
Or did it even matter?

I don’t care
But was that first
Or a shield
To guard my pride?