Anticipation

Composed 9/7/17
Description: A belated response to the Daily Prompt: Anticipate.

If only I could anticipate your conversations
I could practice interactions to simulate elation
For I yearn to be in your good graces
To be admired — not one of a million faces
All I can do is watch your reactions
But I black out after failures to muster attraction
They seem to offer only confirmation
That your mind is engaged with other fixations

You

Composed 2/7/17
Description: n/a

It’s not that I desire just
Any figure by my side
Or just any hand or any pair of eyes
But absolutely, specifically
The person that is you
The smile that you give
And the quips that just you do
But most of all I just wish
To look in your specific eyes
Hold your specific hand as
We stand there side by side
And press my lips to you
Lovingly

The Unknowns

Composed 1/19/17
Description: Probably the symptom of an overworked brain.

To love the unknown is a scary thing
As it so much more easily consumes and bleeds
Your heart dry after you create and repeat
Fantasies that have no basis in reality
When essential details are unknown but
Interest is still peeked and cannot be shut down for
Perhaps the unknown is pleasing?
It’s the uncertainty that both unnerves and attracts
And I don’t know whether to flirt or fight back
I’m stuck and drowning in mystery and
Too shy to ask and learn what I need
For fear that my dreams will have been wasted
And crushed and fear that I’ve dived in too much
You see
I’d rather whisper conspiracies and
Overhear evidence that quietly denies
So I might suffer in silence with no one the wiser…
But will I run out of time before I learn actuality
And finally set my restless thoughts
Free?

Fixation

Composed 1/11/17
Description: For a daily prompt that fit the evening nicely: cling.

I think about you so much
I forget the radio’s on
And when I hear it
I belt out every song

Time, distraction help me forget
For a moment

Then the race is on
Consuming my mind and my internet history
You stole all the keys and now you control me
With wit and laughter, eccentricities
And now I try too much and
Sit when I yearn to stand and leave

When there is no reason
No hope
No plans
Why do I bother?
Why do I contemplate and scheme?

Why is it that when my mind is tickled
It clings?

Inside

Composed 6/22/16
Description: Inspired by today’s Daily Prompt: Empty. And if this doesn’t fill you up, another empty-themed poem can be found here.

His smile drew
Each passerby
The twinkling in his eyes
Suggested magic and mystery
Well dressed, well kept
Politeness dripped from his outstretched hands
He was a perfect trap
Until you got inside
Then you realized he’s
Empty

I Think I’ll Pass

Composed 4/6/15
Description: For Day 6 of NaPoWriMo.

You long to hold another in your arms
A yearning dropped in each available line
But, alas, a chance at relationship?
Simply impossible at this time!

A night enwrapped, nuzzled, and touched
Well, that wouldn’t be asking for much
A date, one day to see what could grow
Seems too unlikely
So the answer’s no

Should I offer my body’s warmth
Our strangeness
And estrangedness
Bothers you none
Yet should I offer a piece of me
And a chance at life of love so sweet
Time seems wasted

And I understand affection
The need to be touched
I’ve lacked it often, way too much
But I’ve had it all
Without true connection
And life feels so empty
With no love
Just a body’s direction

Dreams

Composed 4/9/11
Description: This was written solely because the boy I was dating at the time wanted me to write something for him. This is the result, and I’m impressed with it, as it was so spur of the moment. It definitely reflects my feelings for him at the time.

Cheek cupped in hand, she stared blankly at that flashing, vertical line, the only black mark visible on the otherwise blindingly white page. Her unoccupied index finger dusted the keypad, sending the cursor to the bottom of the screen, where an attractive blue and orange logo called to her so temptingly. She hesitated, knowing full well that the next few seconds would determine the rest of the evening. Click it, and she might as well forget about being productive. Ignore it, and there was still hope, still a sliver of a chance that inspiration would soon find her.

Her fingertip was startled from the button as a soft buzz and brief glow caught her attention. A mixture of feelings welled up inside her at that moment – surprise, frustration, and a kind of giddiness that she would deny vehemently if confronted. Nevertheless, she did not hesitate to grasp the small device and flip open the top.

A smile was brought to her lips soon after, an eager reply swiftly returned. However, in the downtime of the conversation, she glanced back toward the screen and scowled. Never one for anger, however, her expression melted, and, with a yawn, she was encouraged to fold her arms on the desk and rest her cheek in the homemade pillow.

She woke up hours later, again startled by the persistent buzz of her nearby cell phone. Adrenaline kicked in, and her head jerked upward suddenly. She grasped for the phone, certain a hundred messages, their content increasing in confusion and possibly anger, were waiting for her. However, after she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she discovered only one message – the one that had woken her.

Let me in.

Her confusion was broken by the loud chime of the doorbell. Continue reading