Words of Affirmation

Composed 1/1/18
Description: My first piece of the year, inspired by a real New Years Eve party and today’s Daily Prompt: Conversation.

In the hours late and early
I deny conventional comforts
In lieu of clarity
Alone reserved and observing
Of the need for love and for touch
Purposefully I monitor my thoughts and senses
There is no sense for intimacy here
I have long rejected feelings
Unfelt and unreciprocated

Joy may waft in here
I hear its call and wear its smile
But I regain my temporal orientation and
Acknowledge temporary sensation
And yet
As the moon shines like daylight beaming
Even a drink laced
You’re beautiful
Gives me that champagne feeling

Not Married

Composed 11/20/17
Description: A real conversation. Inspired by life and the Daily Prompt: Particular.

Why not?
You’re a nice girl
Friendly
You always seem happy
You’re attractive enough
Maybe you’re just
Particular

He speaks
The word with stealth and embarrassment like a rare spoken curse
He’s a browning leaf shaking on the limb
From the barest gust of wind

Do you have interests?
Hike? Go out? Meet people?

Like the only explanation is that
I’ve never left the house
Never met a single man

And he’s so concerned
Like I’ll be thrown out to the street
And consumed by wolves
If a man doesn’t hold my hand and lock the door

Truly
The mastication of my limbs would be a more fortunate fate
Than settling for the first nice guy
Who thought the mere reality of his presence
Was worthy of me falling to me knees in need
I would rather bleed
Than live a life where I settled for misery over
Contented seclusion
I don’t need anybody

I know someone
He’s too old though
and
married

He thinks any body will satisfy
Even if the match is completely ridiculous
I could be married a thousand times over by now
If I wasn’t
Particular
How I loathe those who think it’s a scandal to wait
For the best offer
For the right fit
To achieve genuine happiness
I am worth it

I don’t mean to invade
your personal space
I hope I didn’t offend

Spare me your patriarchy
You wish to see me sold off so desperately
You cannot hold it in
Despite the obvious violation
Of the boundary of this partnership

Don’t worry about me
I know what I’m doing

Either I marry for love and partnership
An egalitarian complement
Or I revel in my private purpose
And the freedom that attends
Rather than bend
To the will of desperation
A voice that lies as much as the concern
Positioned in your eyes

Anticipation

Composed 9/7/17
Description: A belated response to the Daily Prompt: Anticipate.

If only I could anticipate your conversations
I could practice interactions to simulate elation
For I yearn to be in your good graces
To be admired — not one of a million faces
All I can do is watch your reactions
But I black out after failures to muster attraction
They seem to offer only confirmation
That your mind is engaged with other fixations