Alive

Blue red yellow sunset over country road

Blue red orange sunset over silhouetted cornfield

Thoughts spin like teenager tires
On the way home
Familiar scenery flashes by out of perception
Eyes look past dusty, well worn paths
Ignorant of change
Slam door, rush inside
Just another day

A turn
And then

Blindness
Beauty
Stunning color as
The daring sea blushes at the sun
It’s a Master’s art finale
And thoughts stop
Feet pause
Shoulders ease back as wonder washes over freshly electrified skin
And eyes open for the first time again
Life
Stops
And takes on color like the sky
As breath hesitates in the moment
You Remember
As you are
Briefly, magically
Enthralled

Composed 9/26/18
Description: Inspired by last evening’s amazing sunset. For the word of the day: enthralling.

Wasting

Composed 4/22/18
Description: Inspired by life and today’s daily prompt: partake.

My secret pleasure is
My secret shame
It is nothing in excess
A wine drunk until blind
This, the wasting of my time
Self care a masquerade for sin
The slow death that starts from within
And manifests in blackened fingers and
Dusty minds
Cobwebbed hobbies and
Missed deadlines
Useless knowledge grasped as
Loves leave in wake of addiction
And any excuse is just rationalization
Fiction

Opening Windows

horizon zero dawn nature screenshot of sunrise sunset shown on desktop computer
Photo by author. Desktop background photo via Guerrilla Games/Sony Interactive Entertainment via Polygon

Composed 1/20/18
Description: Inspired by today’s Daily Prompt: Horizon. For inspiration I searched for horizon pictures and got a new desktop in addition to the inspiration I was looking for…

Perhaps I am rooted to this place
To these walls to these people
To my duties to this life
Destined to watch the same sunrise
Pretty and calm over the same country skies

But I am not rooted to this place
Others capture beauty and adventure
And play as eager historians
Recording their wonder in images and words

A new horizon I could find
Every night every morning every hour
And plaster each one over my window
To catch a new perspective

And someday I hope you will take joy in my discoveries
Find enlightenment in these simple, small town words
For it’s my love to see the world through your eyes
So perhaps there is value to mine

Words of Affirmation

Composed 1/1/18
Description: My first piece of the year, inspired by a real New Years Eve party and today’s Daily Prompt: Conversation.

In the hours late and early
I deny conventional comforts
In lieu of clarity
Alone reserved and observing
Of the need for love and for touch
Purposefully I monitor my thoughts and senses
There is no sense for intimacy here
I have long rejected feelings
Unfelt and unreciprocated

Joy may waft in here
I hear its call and wear its smile
But I regain my temporal orientation and
Acknowledge temporary sensation
And yet
As the moon shines like daylight beaming
Even a drink laced
You’re beautiful
Gives me that champagne feeling

Consent

Composed 12/16/17
Description:  Inspired by life and the Daily Prompt: Meager.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

I had already given myself the talk
My worth is not based on
accomplishment, talent

I had already given up
talentless, hopeless
I should move on, forget it
This hobby, this dream

Then expectation overturned, reversed
giddiness, excitement
All was not as it seemed

Then passion, pride burned
In my chest as I freed
My own heart from this self-inflicted curse
Merely a meager word
Changed the course
Of my own history

Realization, turns pensive
Despite my faculties
I still allow others to own me

Unlikely Underdog 

Composed 11/26/17
Description: Inspired by life and the Daily Prompt: 
Underdog.

You borrow wit
and use it unwittingly
Plagiarizing for personal gain
Can reward even be reaped from
a minefield?

Worthy champions may traverse rough terrain
But how can they forgive
When wounded and wary they learn
you set the traps?

A drink is drunk
but drunk?
The only thing tipsy is the mind
Inhibitions unleashed by need
Not chemicals depressed, swaped, or unleashed

So that’s why I’m skeptical
It’s the endless cycle
The senseless torture
The only fault of man is his blissful ignorance or
Willingness
To be deceived for the time being
To gain some fake, small feeling

But really
It’s amazement
Some decency may be found so easily
For a poor act even temporary
But an attempt at earnesty, honesty, longevity
Is not scorned but ignored for what feels like centuries, perhaps eternity

It is
Frustrating
I must play an unlikely underdog
In a game I should be easily winning

Not Married

Composed 11/20/17
Description: A real conversation. Inspired by life and the Daily Prompt: Particular.

Why not?
You’re a nice girl
Friendly
You always seem happy
You’re attractive enough
Maybe you’re just
Particular

He speaks
The word with stealth and embarrassment like a rare spoken curse
He’s a browning leaf shaking on the limb
From the barest gust of wind

Do you have interests?
Hike? Go out? Meet people?

Like the only explanation is that
I’ve never left the house
Never met a single man

And he’s so concerned
Like I’ll be thrown out to the street
And consumed by wolves
If a man doesn’t hold my hand and lock the door

Truly
The mastication of my limbs would be a more fortunate fate
Than settling for the first nice guy
Who thought the mere reality of his presence
Was worthy of me falling to me knees in need
I would rather bleed
Than live a life where I settled for misery over
Contented seclusion
I don’t need anybody

I know someone
He’s too old though
and
married

He thinks any body will satisfy
Even if the match is completely ridiculous
I could be married a thousand times over by now
If I wasn’t
Particular
How I loathe those who think it’s a scandal to wait
For the best offer
For the right fit
To achieve genuine happiness
I am worth it

I don’t mean to invade
your personal space
I hope I didn’t offend

Spare me your patriarchy
You wish to see me sold off so desperately
You cannot hold it in
Despite the obvious violation
Of the boundary of this partnership

Don’t worry about me
I know what I’m doing

Either I marry for love and partnership
An egalitarian complement
Or I revel in my private purpose
And the freedom that attends
Rather than bend
To the will of desperation
A voice that lies as much as the concern
Positioned in your eyes

Calloused

Composed 11/9/17
Description: Inspired by today’s Daily Prompt: Gingerly.

With you there’s only eggshells
For you are an electric fire
Any prodding emits sparks
Water begets electrocution
Discussion – only more smoke
More tears
I fear
So I just bury you in sand and walk on eggshells
So oft I’ve tread these paths
Most times I don’t even feel