The Frost

Composed 11/7/21
Description: My father passed away unexpectedly in May.

The frost took the flowers last night
Once colorful, vibrant
Gone in an instant
Withered, cold to the touch

Your funeral flowers
Taken, transplanted, and watered with tears
Are untouched
Risen, sheltered by home
Absurdly more abundant
Than any foliage grasping to the ground

A strange
Comforting reminder
That you are now immortal
And more alive than even me

Sunday, Alone

I hold my breath and focus on the sweeter things
because if I imagine the possibilities
I might just lose it
as I walk through these doors alone
I live a future I do not wish to see
and I almost wish I had stayed home
so these pitiful eyes wouldn’t look at me
consolation is a curse
that pulls me back under

sitting on the shelf
are memories that I take for granted
I imagine them cracked and dusty
and tears blur my vision so I cannot see
these emotional scenes sneak up on me
a scam aimed at my innermost vulnerabilities
I don’t want to stifle these moments because
it could be the end
but if I think about how much you mean to me and how you are such a true friend
my sorrow will burst forth and be without end
don’t leave me I pray
so I can love you
another day

 

Composed 8/26/18

I Wish I Knew

Composed 9/4/17
Description: Inspired by life and today’s Daily Prompt: Educate.

Oh how to help a friend in need?
My empathy seems unfounded and strange

But I feel it
How do I express it?

Words seem repetitive and frivolous
I yearn to act
But I am at a loss about how to proceed

I wish I could know your mind
And act it out silently
So you could know my odd sincerity
Is not robotic but deep
Falling through a pit in my heart
To the stomach
And welling up to the throat and leaking through the eyes
Though I try to swallow

I suppose
I just care
About you about all of
This
And I wish you were aware
That you are not alone
That I am there

Rainbow Bridge

Composed 10/29/16
Description: When I originally looked at the word prompt for today, “Bridge,” I soon thought about Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary. Whenever a doggy member of their family dies they say they “crossed the rainbow bridge.” I always thought that was just a cute thing to say, but today I googled it and found that the “rainbow bridge” is a reference to an old prose poem that talks about where pets go when they die — you guessed it, the rainbow bridge, a lovely meadow where animals play until their owners die and the two “move on” together. Strangely, a close friend of mine had a pet loss today, so really there was nothing else I could write about. So here is my interpretation.

Darkness then
White
And luscious green
(If animals can see such a thing)
Perhaps it’s more damp and fragrant
Grass after rain
And a lightness
Free from pain
Old pals, new buddies
Sticks between their teeth
Running, jumping, up and downhill
Mud underneath their feet
For many years
For others only days
When a well-known nose twitch
Sends tails on a wild craze
More running and jumping
On people this time
And with a hand on a head
They step back in time
And follow the rainbow together
Up to that place divine

Stress Test

Composed 4/11/16
Description: For Day 10 of NaPoWriMo. Based on a conversation I had today.

She was worried she’d die
Face down on the treadmill

Doctors would lick and stick electrodes to her
Watch the beeping of her heart and
She’d begin
Step after step breathing heavy
Up and up and across that digital mile
Sweat beading in her brow

They’d watch her spike
And go flat

What she didn’t remember was
Her heart had experienced more than that mile
She’d known stress of great intensity
Chronic worry and work to the point of fatigue
She cared immensely about every need
Her heart beat along with the
Buzzing in her head and the
Heartbeats of everyone around her
She’d lived a hundred stressful lives
Heart thumping with the emotion of a hundred miles

What she didn’t know was that she’d already passed the test
This was just a formality

The Moment

Composed 5/28/15
Description: I’ve increasingly become aware that I fear this myself.

It couldn’t have been a more peaceful evening.

As the sun began its descent, its beams filtered in through the kitchen window and illuminated her mug-filled hands. She brought the rim to her lips and grimaced only slightly as she swallowed.

Tugging her knit sweater more closely to her willowed frame, she stared outside. It was so bright compared to her dim kitchen that she squinted to clearly see the clouds drifting in the sky, the trees easing back and forth in the breeze.

She was alone. And it was this thought that seized her when the pains came.

She had anticipated death; she did not fear the pain or the passing itself. No, she feared bring alone in The Moment. There was no one to witness, to hold, to say goodbye. She would just be found, gone. No one would see her, speak with her again. Her lasts were finalized, and no one was coming to whisper sweet thoughts as she transitioned into that universally Unknown Place.

So she was afraid. As the mug broke, as she crouched to the floor, as she moaned and laid down, belly up, she was lonely, and she was afraid. It seemed such a cruel fate to live so fully, to have family, to make friends, and die abandoned and alone.

She died in the dark. She died sad.

It wasn’t until then that she could see the beaming silhouette standing beside her. He wore a white cloak – heavy, hooded, and warm. He offered his hand, and she took it. She stood and looked down at The Body and started to cry. But he brushed the tears from her cheek, and she realized she had never really been alone.

The Cemetery

Composed 3/10/15
Description: Inspired by a place I drove by that day.

Step with me through the cemetery
Where the snow still falls in spring
Hear the hissing, howling wind
As ancient voices sing
Step up the slippery hillside
Weave though the homes of deceased
Sweep your fingers over the stones
You might just bring them peace