The Curse of Old Loves

Composed 9/10/17
Description: Inspired by life and today’s Daily Prompt: Peculiar. A poem about moving on.

Peculiar
How we cling to the familiar
Even when we know it’s no good
He returns to old comfort
Though he knows it has failed
Venom seeping through the fingertips and lips
And clogging all paths to the heart
But he is welcomed
With a smile and soft eyes
With warmth
With kind words and old love songs
With good intentions, perhaps
But it’s a curse –
He’s poisoned but pleased
Pleasure brings him back and habits form
The longer it endures the more he is addicted and
The more harmed
The more he is unable to break free but
He can anticipate and follow routine
It’s easy
It’s hard to change, move on
Try something new
But if you keep returning to the past
You miss out on what’s in front of you
And the future never comes

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Don’t Call Me

Composed 3/7/16
Description: For today’s Daily Prompt: Sentimental.

I like your necklace ‘cause it looks good
I like your card because it’s sweet
But don’t call me sentimental

I like that blanket ‘cause it’s warm and it wraps me up at night
I like that sun-bleached jar of sand because it takes me far away
But don’t call me sentimental

I like your gifts because you knew me
But don’t you ever doubt
If my house caught fire
They’d burn
So don’t call me
Don’t call me sentimental

What I Would Have Loved

Composed 12/23/15
Description: “You really were special.”

The heartfelt love of your family
Haunts more than the ghost of your feverish kiss
For while I impulsively yearn you
It’s my mind that loves
And your lips missed

Man of My Dreams

Composed 6/12/15
Description: n/a

Yours haunt like no other
I seem to always remember
The feeling, so intense, after your dreams
So real, such comfort a common theme
A heart’s sweet trick, a mind’s demise
For a night and some short morning time
You are my grasp, a warm stronghold
I could almost forget the true old cold
Bite of your apathy
Ignorant dichotomy
Of favor with neglect
Reluctance with respect
Such heartache
Each time that I truly wake
The man of my dreams
Is all it seems
You will ever be
To me

Old Spark

Composed 4/24/15
Description: n/a

Old arguments stirred at a new time and place
Does space make it any different?
I relive that stress, frustration, then relief
Reconsidering makes me feel weak
I only rethink decisions made in clarity
Because I’m lonely
Some part of me
Burns

A Brief Romantic History

Composed 10/8-9/13
Description: Another Literary Arts Magazine potential. Though, also a subject I’ve been intending to cover for awhile…

The first
He lured me in
Sweetly as a song
But he held me out
At arm’s length
Before I was there long
But I was young and clueless then
So I stayed firm by his side
Hoping that
One day
He would change his brilliant mind
A year or so went by
That was all that I could take
So I looked away and pushed him off
Drifting across the lake

But looking back
I see now
The blessing that heartbreak turned out to be
I lived life
And discovered myself
Only because I was free

The next
He crashed right into me
A derailed train
Unintended
We fell hard with hugs and words
But the illusion of our bond
Soon ended
So with a sigh of relief and sorrow
I pushed him far away
Thinking that I’d seen the last
Of any chance love had to sway

But looking back
I see now
The blessing that heartbreak turned out to be
I stayed true
And re-established myself
Only because I pulled free

The last
Remains a mystery
A construct
Hypothetical
And some days I do think
My beloved will stay
Theoretical
Especially when it seems
All potentials look away
And loneliness seeps
Deep within
As I go throughout my days

But looking forward
I admit
The blessing that heartbreak can frequently be
I continue to grow
And remain myself
As I savor the years of being free

Nightwalker

Composed 7/2/13
Description: Another piece inspired by a mix of recent feelings and reflections. I’m not 100% sold on the title (a little too vampire connotative, perhaps?), so if you have any suggestions (or like this one) I would love to hear your thoughts!

I detest the sun
That once nourished me
Brought color to my cheeks
Warmth to my limbs
An inferno raging
Twisting in my chest
My stomach

Now the sun fills me
With different fire
It sickens me
I exhale
And erupt in flames

I flee to the shadows
Scoff at the lotus
Blushing and fragrant
In the sun’s refreshed light

I yearn
I crawl
I stand
I grow
I will thrive in the darkness
And reach out toward the sun

The lotus will fall in the shadow
The sun will shine upon me

But I will throw up my hands
And block its light
I no longer need it
To live