On Top of the Hill

Composed 6/29/17
Description: Busyness has taken me, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It creeps up all at once the future
from textbooks and essays to
apartments and salary
real world responsibilities
duties that are daunting but suddenly achievable
I honestly never thought it was feasible
to walk out and succeed with this much ease
and I’m standing on the hill looking back
at all the paths I’ve taken and the people
I’ve collected on that journey
and how each of them lifted me and how
God has had a hand in guiding things
And I think…
I’ve made my decisions decently
I enjoy this
unique branch of reality in this parallel universe
I look forward and see misty possibilities
I might have found my true calling
I just have to keep moving forward to see

Academia

Composed 1/28/16
Description: Playing devil’s advocate here a bit with this.

We stare out the sun-stained windows
As the man, masqueraded, lilts lofty lovelies
About human strength and power
Possibilities
Of futures where we thrive instead of survive
We should be striving
For positivity!
But we turn dazed, daydreamed eyes
To harsh white and artificial light
Of our present circumstance
And our smiling savior speaks
He says
The man is winning
So play along
Take this book
Learn to tear a man down
That’s the only way you’ll live in this town
So we play
For days and months and years
And
Nothing changes
Just our words
Scream out into the night

Debris

Composed 7/4/15
Description: Inspired by fireworks and the holiday.

We are light
We rise into the sky
And ride on trails of smoke
Bursting in dazzling hues
We dance
Spin and curl and fall
Down
Down
Into peaceful, happy sleep

By and by

We are burdened
Rooted to the ground
Tossing, turning as forced spectators
While the world around us burns
We wish to watch, to revel
But reality redirects joyous reminisce
We say our dear God Bless
Our love poisoned by danger
We sense those things amiss

Man of My Dreams

Composed 6/12/15
Description: n/a

Yours haunt like no other
I seem to always remember
The feeling, so intense, after your dreams
So real, such comfort a common theme
A heart’s sweet trick, a mind’s demise
For a night and some short morning time
You are my grasp, a warm stronghold
I could almost forget the true old cold
Bite of your apathy
Ignorant dichotomy
Of favor with neglect
Reluctance with respect
Such heartache
Each time that I truly wake
The man of my dreams
Is all it seems
You will ever be
To me

The Reality of Summer

Composed 6/22/13
Description: You know that lovely, firefly-filled walk I went on this evening? You know, the one filled with the magic of summer? Well, I’m just now discovering that the fireflies weren’t the only things surrounding me out there.

And thus: a companion to The Magic of Summer.

In a not so lovely
Twist of fate
The mosquitoes found me tasty
And they ate

Psychic

Composed: 6/12/13
Description: I have not posted in a long while it seems. This is partially because I am currently readjusting to working full time and partially because I have been inspired to continue working on a novel-in-progress. In fact, it has come to the point that I come up with backstories and events so randomly I’ve resorted to carrying around a notebook to write ideas as they come to me. This random inspiration that occurs throughout the day also makes it very hard to focus on work, hence this poem…

I reside in two realms
One reveals to me the past and future
The other strangles me with the present
Though I struggle to remain
Constantly slipping
Sliding
Seeing
And scribbling down pieces of lives

The world grasps me with its claws
Reeling me back to a pool of the numbest gray
But I am enticed by my premonitions
Unable to thrive in the world of the living
Unable to relinquish my soul
And let it be dragged down and drowned

The disjointed
Random realm
Of adrenaline and twisting lines
Of smoke and blood
Of rain and startling colors
That flashes before my eyes
Rolling back into my skull
Are a blessing
And must be written down for the good of man
Though I must record my thoughts in private
Lest I be cast out by those who judge

Thus is the life
Of a psychic
A clairvoyant
A writer

Unfortunate Reality

Composed Summer 2012
Description: I scribbled the majority of this poem down on a scrap piece of paper while I was working in an office last summer. It was just one of those times when I was (randomly) hit with these feelings (feelings, strangely enough, that would come up again, more fiercely, a little less than a year later). I lost the paper and for the most part forgot about it until I found it today. I edited the original and added a much needed last verse this evening. Enjoy!

Sometimes I think about running back to you
But the past always makes me change my mind
And yet I can’t help it on these bitter lonely nights
I think about your laughter and I smile

We really had it good there for awhile
Though you might not see as well as me
You sang and we laughed on your old van’s worn-out seats
Even now I could tell you anything

And then I have to break out of my daydreams
And remember why our love can never be
Even though I care for you and yearn for your embrace
You will never feel so strongly about me