Fall Apart

Composed 11/2/16
Description: Stress. It’s my life. Certainly until December, probably until August, maybe forever. Inspired by today’s Daily Prompt: Bludgeon

Does it come as a tap?
Nay
Nor even a shove
But like torrent rains it comes suddenly
Roaring
From above
And forever and always
Endless reams
Bludgeoning
Constantly
And I’m ripping at the seams

A famine exists
But when will it appear?
Not day nor weeks
Perhaps months or years
But can I take the hammer
Until the sunshine leaks through?
Can I even live
When I’m living black and blue?

Bored to Death

Composed 6/6/16
Description: Sorry for the hiatus. Summer is not a relaxing time for me, but rather a time to jump into a lengthy practicum (alongside work and social responsibilities of course). Speaking of educational matters, here’s a little something inspired by my adventures today.

Flood my veins with words of wisdom
Hammer secrets to my bones
Let the knowledge seep into my brain
But I already know

NU 203

Composed 3/25/16
Description: A rare prose piece from me. A description of a place in which I am forced to reside once a week for several hours…

It’s a hulking, ancient building amidst a concrete jungle. Today, gray – sky, air, rain. Inside, mud-spattered, dust accented patterned tile, arranged in ill-advised juxtaposition. The place is obviously old, without renovation since its original ribbon cutting, crafted by the wrinkled hands and bills of ancient cults of bald, spectacled men smoking cigars by the sparking fireplace. The endless faces of its patrons, a thousand eyes, stare, watch, smile blandly in their frames. Souls captured and sold – a warning, a premonition, a foreshadowing. Have they ever really left this place?

You turn and enter between gaps of cursed guardians. Perfectly square, dull tan and beige, the place boxes you in. A prison of monochrome uniformity. The metal chairs screech against the dull tile floor like demons clawing their way out of hell.

It is more a prison than any prison I know, giant concrete blocks and all. Only now the prison is a whitewashed reflection of high school nightmares, combining confinement with insecurity, awkwardness, and incurable boredom.

Not even windows give a peek into the outside world. Buzzing florescents coat the room in an aura of delusion. Reality vanishes in favor of a buttercream LSD trip. A power surge would send us scrambling into complete darkness. Not a shred of natural light filters through the cracks in slab. And the steaming heat, like the flames of hell, siphon away your desire to live, to go on…

The place sucks battery life even faster than it sucks out your soul. Technology dies rapidly as it reaches out for contact, any signal of hope, of life beyond these walls.

But no one answers. Only the drone of the establishment and the groans of your peers interrupt the silence…

Academia

Composed 1/28/16
Description: Playing devil’s advocate here a bit with this.

We stare out the sun-stained windows
As the man, masqueraded, lilts lofty lovelies
About human strength and power
Possibilities
Of futures where we thrive instead of survive
We should be striving
For positivity!
But we turn dazed, daydreamed eyes
To harsh white and artificial light
Of our present circumstance
And our smiling savior speaks
He says
The man is winning
So play along
Take this book
Learn to tear a man down
That’s the only way you’ll live in this town
So we play
For days and months and years
And
Nothing changes
Just our words
Scream out into the night

The Grind

Composed 12/17/13
Description: This was written in response to wdbwp’s prompt Trial and Tribulation.  The prompt was to write of a situation that has caused stress, anxiety, pain, etc.  For me, this was an easy prompt.  In fact, I actually had already written about half this earlier in the semester, but this prompt inspired me to finish it.

It’s the heavy
The dragging
The tired
And blind
The heart pumping
Worry
Of falling behind
The striving
The falling
The covered in mud
The lack of assistance
Coming from above
And then my soul
Pushed out there to sell
These are the trials
Of senior year hell

No Time

Composed 10/4/13
Description: A little bit of my life lately.

I roll my eyes at the angsty side
Do you know how much I have to do?
Two hours filled just talking ‘bout stuff
And time from the day for texting too!

Don’t you know little longing heart
My mind is too full for your swift tricks?
Even if I do manage heart strings’ pull
I don’t have the time! I can’t commit!

Papers, projects due in three weeks
All my weekends consumed
I daresay if you fell for me
I don’t know what I’d do

I have no time to write loving notes
Or spend hours sitting at the park
You’d ditch me a few weeks in, I’d bet
Even I’d had your heart

So for now I’ll bury myself
In the workload that surrounds
Maybe I’ll have time to love
When this madness calms down