Sunday, Alone

I hold my breath and focus on the sweeter things
because if I imagine the possibilities
I might just lose it
as I walk through these doors alone
I live a future I do not wish to see
and I almost wish I had stayed home
so these pitiful eyes wouldn’t look at me
consolation is a curse
that pulls me back under

sitting on the shelf
are memories that I take for granted
I imagine them cracked and dusty
and tears blur my vision so I cannot see
these emotional scenes sneak up on me
a scam aimed at my innermost vulnerabilities
I don’t want to stifle these moments because
it could be the end
but if I think about how much you mean to me and how you are such a true friend
my sorrow will burst forth and be without end
don’t leave me I pray
so I can love you
another day

 

Composed 8/26/18

Sickness

Composed 9/7/15
Description: I wrote this at night so long ago I don’t even remember what brought it on…

You wish me to be happy
But all I breathe is poison in the air
Your daisies might bring a smile
But all the while I seep with sick
I can’t escape it
It’s in my eyes
It coats each face
Each smiling, sweet face
Juxtaposed with fangs and fire
A hot drugged despair
It’s in the air
We’re all sick with it
We just tolerate it
But not me
Not today when it’s all I see
Angel, bring me sleep and
Set me free

Vulnerable

Composed 4/16/15
Description: For Day 16 of NaPoWriMo. Technically written yesterday, just late in posting!

I was sitting in the hospital as my uncle was having surgery when I wrote this.

You think you’re made of marble
Solid, prowling beasts
But take a knife to stomach
You’re just compressed, vacuum sealed
Meat

In sun you run without worry
But in dark the rot sets in
You thought you’re made of marble
But you’re a miracle, a temple
Of skin

Zombie

Composed 4/4/15
Description: For Day 4 of NaPoWriMo (as I actually DID write this yesterday). Obviously, as the day wore on I felt incredibly lazy and altogether… not well.

My body drains of color
So I fall in pillow mounds
But the mounds just suffocate me
And my pallor turns to green
If I hadn’t been so empty
I could have put color in my cheeks
But I’m stumbling like a zombie
Groaning
Too weak