The Wall

Why am I left here standing while my friends crumble to their knees?
It’s not that I do not know the shadows or the wind
Fogs roll around me but my skin does not absorb their toxin
Instead I look to the water’s edge
See obscured, grimaced forms of once familiar faces
And try as I might I can’t wipe away the spray
And friendly hands turn to mist in my grip
I can only see the pain
Caused by this plague of corrosive mind and boiling blood
Feel the burn on the barest tips of my fingers
Never better have I understood the sensation of standing before a burning bush
Only now it’s my friends on fire

I stand behind a wall of Light
Uncertain of why I’ve been chosen to fight
From this side
All I can do is offer a flat palm
Let my presence be known
Spotlighted and empty handed like so many before me
In my dreams did I whisper send me?

A calm history
Attempted empathy
The curse of seeing clearly
While the earth and its creatures shatter around me
I am the one to know best how poorly
I’ve handled this
When I should be the most equipped
If only the Light could help me see
Through the wall of water that separates me
I could give my hand and pull out
Pharaoh’s armies from the sea

Composed 12/30/18

Advertisement

Trust

Composed 6/5/18
Description:

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.

Mother Teresa

An ominous blessing
Is there such a thing?
Mother Teresa comes to mind
“I wish he didn’t trust me”

Your Presence

Composed 6/10/17
Description: Inspired by life and today’s daily prompt: Tender.

Endless days of sorrow and need
Feeding into me and shattering about
My stoic heart
I can take anything
But when I step through those doors
I’m shaking
Every light lyric and tender moment
Lands like an atomic bomb that
Shatters me
I cannot quell the lump in my throat
The tears leaking from the corners of my eyes
There is no line of thought that justifies my
Intense reactions
I try to fight but
I am subdued by intangible influence that
Humbles a once confident me
And I see things differently
And yearn to be something else and more free
To take this power and carry it with me because
Close to you I’m so weak
Your power is so great and yet you love
So tenderly
Protection and comfort from you I seek
Allow me to breathe and
Help my heart bleed for others like
Yours did for me

A Deadly Stance

Composed 4/6/17
Description: Inspired by life and today’s Daily Prompt: Denial. For NaPoWriMo.

A head tilt and eye shift
At mere conversation
When prodded only circles
Spin on halfhearted investigation
Others too shy to elevate
Or deepen
Thoughts that lay buried
Under a lifetime of holding ground
Feet on earth and eyes in fog
Protect for now
But souls ache for when that stance
Will be swept away with the wind
And forced into light
Or dark

A Greater Perspective

Composed 10/27/16
Description: Inspired by today’s Daily Prompt: Smoke.

A quick search on my blog will show you I am no stranger to this topic or metaphor; though, each piece strongly tied to this topic ranges in style. Secondhand Smoke is a simple, bitter though (in phrasing) funny haiku, while the simply-titled Smoke is one of my more experimental pieces, strongly tied to real events and people and chockful of obscure symbolism (which I should definitely do more!). The present piece lies somewhere in the middle. 

The world may catch aflame
Burn to the ground and smolder
But cast your eyes not to the desolate earth
Instead follow the smoke
As it rises, catches the wind
And curls up to the stars
Let your gaze be caught your
Chin lifted
As you find pictures in the wisps
And remember what rests above

In Memoriam

Composed 6/13/16
Descriptions: For the Victims of Orlando.

How can there be a sunset
When there is such a pit in my heart?
You nailed it into me
And it festers and grows
Fifty ghost bullets
Fifty real holes in me
They leak endless tears
And I have a brackish taste
Of how God feels when we hurt one another
So the sun goes away
And God sends us fifty thousand stars
And aurora to mourn

The Moment

Composed 5/28/15
Description: I’ve increasingly become aware that I fear this myself.

It couldn’t have been a more peaceful evening.

As the sun began its descent, its beams filtered in through the kitchen window and illuminated her mug-filled hands. She brought the rim to her lips and grimaced only slightly as she swallowed.

Tugging her knit sweater more closely to her willowed frame, she stared outside. It was so bright compared to her dim kitchen that she squinted to clearly see the clouds drifting in the sky, the trees easing back and forth in the breeze.

She was alone. And it was this thought that seized her when the pains came.

She had anticipated death; she did not fear the pain or the passing itself. No, she feared bring alone in The Moment. There was no one to witness, to hold, to say goodbye. She would just be found, gone. No one would see her, speak with her again. Her lasts were finalized, and no one was coming to whisper sweet thoughts as she transitioned into that universally Unknown Place.

So she was afraid. As the mug broke, as she crouched to the floor, as she moaned and laid down, belly up, she was lonely, and she was afraid. It seemed such a cruel fate to live so fully, to have family, to make friends, and die abandoned and alone.

She died in the dark. She died sad.

It wasn’t until then that she could see the beaming silhouette standing beside her. He wore a white cloak – heavy, hooded, and warm. He offered his hand, and she took it. She stood and looked down at The Body and started to cry. But he brushed the tears from her cheek, and she realized she had never really been alone.

The Song

Composed 5/27/15
Description: For now at least it is a beautiful day, and I am sitting out on my deck enjoying the sun and the ceaseless sound of wind rushing through the trees… resulting in this poem. Fun fact: this is my first time posting to my blog from my phone!

The wind roars
It sings to me
The most beautiful of songs
Uplifting melodies of hope
Drowning out all thought
I can only marvel
At its whispers, its crescendos
It sings of running, adventures, sunlight
It pushes me to dreams unknown
I’m a child of the wind
I long to hear its voice
So when it calls I escape
To a quiet place
And listen

The Truth Is

Composed 5/21/15
Description: Sometimes we want something… but really we don’t.

I desire to dislike you
I dream of your demise
I fantasize of your shortcomings
Your angry voice, your lies
I long to smirk, outsmart you
To bow to awed applause
I want to see you back away
When I reveal my claws

But the truth is I don’t know you
Perhaps your eyes are not disguise
I’d rather be seen as your friend
Than one hated, criticized
I don’t want that guilt held in my chest
When I speak those fiery words
I’d rather just reach out and bless
To feel peaceful and secure

Because the truth is I don’t know you
And karma is our ruthless fate
So I will always accept you
After all
We each make mistakes

Battleground

Composed 5/5/15
Description: This is what you get when you read Frank Peretti I guess.

Is it angels or demons probing my mind tonight? I feel as if there are words that need to be spoken, rhythms and rhymes that must flow from my mind. It craves release.

But do I long for pride? Or does the Spirit nudge my pen to action?

My mind jumps from topic to topic. Why can’t I nail down the urge? Do demons cling to weigh down my wrestling? Do I listen to the calming voice of distraction? Does the Divine suggest mistake?

The Presence is so inside me. It is not here in this room, beside. No, the struggle is so clearly in mind – the battleground most oft trodden for me.

Is my conviction ill-fated? A nasty snip rather than a constructive flow? Perhaps I’ll never know.

But there is a fight, somewhere. Perhaps I’m only scratching the outside layer of the fight. I am not educated, confronted. Not yet. This is only the preparation, the training. Only moving in unconscious.

Who is my Teacher? I hope to be wary of demons, deceivers. Be with me, Lord, if not already. Help me see.