Sunday, Alone

I hold my breath and focus on the sweeter things
because if I imagine the possibilities
I might just lose it
as I walk through these doors alone
I live a future I do not wish to see
and I almost wish I had stayed home
so these pitiful eyes wouldn’t look at me
consolation is a curse
that pulls me back under

sitting on the shelf
are memories that I take for granted
I imagine them cracked and dusty
and tears blur my vision so I cannot see
these emotional scenes sneak up on me
a scam aimed at my innermost vulnerabilities
I don’t want to stifle these moments because
it could be the end
but if I think about how much you mean to me and how you are such a true friend
my sorrow will burst forth and be without end
don’t leave me I pray
so I can love you
another day

 

Composed 8/26/18

Stress Test

Composed 4/11/16
Description: For Day 10 of NaPoWriMo. Based on a conversation I had today.

She was worried she’d die
Face down on the treadmill

Doctors would lick and stick electrodes to her
Watch the beeping of her heart and
She’d begin
Step after step breathing heavy
Up and up and across that digital mile
Sweat beading in her brow

They’d watch her spike
And go flat

What she didn’t remember was
Her heart had experienced more than that mile
She’d known stress of great intensity
Chronic worry and work to the point of fatigue
She cared immensely about every need
Her heart beat along with the
Buzzing in her head and the
Heartbeats of everyone around her
She’d lived a hundred stressful lives
Heart thumping with the emotion of a hundred miles

What she didn’t know was that she’d already passed the test
This was just a formality

The Grind

Composed 12/17/13
Description: This was written in response to wdbwp’s prompt Trial and Tribulation.  The prompt was to write of a situation that has caused stress, anxiety, pain, etc.  For me, this was an easy prompt.  In fact, I actually had already written about half this earlier in the semester, but this prompt inspired me to finish it.

It’s the heavy
The dragging
The tired
And blind
The heart pumping
Worry
Of falling behind
The striving
The falling
The covered in mud
The lack of assistance
Coming from above
And then my soul
Pushed out there to sell
These are the trials
Of senior year hell