On Reaching Out

Composed 1/15/18
Description: n/a

My thoughts on love have polarized, metastasized
Spreading from brain, to heart, to thighs
I cannot imagine looking into your eyes
And seeing a reflection of me inside

I’ve been on both sides
A distant, disinterested foil of pursuit
A piner who quiets without conclusion
Now I care not to even glance in your direction
Such a farfetched fantasy
I cannot even feign the words to my untold story

These butterflies
Are angst and disgust
Not lovesickness
Lovers seem like strangers
A foreigner – I will never understand
And I have failed to assimilate

Trying
Might yield something
But I’m busy
It’s embarrassing

I see others with their limited successes
Their mediocre second tries
And I cannot find
The will, the desire
To extend my arm and spread open my fingers
To reach

If fate doesn’t deliver you into my hands
I believe I will busy them
In other worthy pursuits

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Reflections on a New Year’s Party

Composed 1/8/18
Description: Going over some old poem scraps and polishing them up. So here we have a somewhat belated reflection on my real-life New Year’s Eve. However, I think this musing could be applied to nearly any moment, any time you looked around and marveled, whether that moment was happy or bizarre, and said “How did I end up here?”

A new year begun with
old friends, long histories
acquaintanced and long distanced but
brought together, connected, and
intertwined by
happenstance and serendipity
begging the question
How did we get here?
And will we be here next year?

Words of Affirmation

Composed 1/1/18
Description: My first piece of the year, inspired by a real New Years Eve party and today’s Daily Prompt: Conversation.

In the hours late and early
I deny conventional comforts
In lieu of clarity
Alone reserved and observing
Of the need for love and for touch
Purposefully I monitor my thoughts and senses
There is no sense for intimacy here
I have long rejected feelings
Unfelt and unreciprocated

Joy may waft in here
I hear its call and wear its smile
But I regain my temporal orientation and
Acknowledge temporary sensation
And yet
As the moon shines like daylight beaming
Even a drink laced
You’re beautiful
Gives me that champagne feeling

Love Letter

Composed: 12/28/17
Description: To keep it short and sweet, this is a reaction to some conversations I’ve been apart of/overheard lately
. I’ll try and let the piece speak for itself.

Darling
I don’t want to love you like I love a crescent moon
Where I only love to see your face when most is out of view
Instead I want to bask as your whole self radiates
Where shadows, bumps, and craters make my struck heart palpitate

Darling
I want a partner
Not a child, not a put up with
I want to take pleasure in your presence
Not your absence
To take comfort from your closeness
Not your distance

Darling
I promise not to settle
I promise to wait for you
To avoid the doom of sighs and gossip
To be proud
To support you even when alone
Because I picked you and love you for all of you
Because your broken pieces are like kintsugi
Not detracting from your beauty
But making it

Darling let me love you like a song
For your beat, for your highs and lows
For the words I just instinctively know
Not perfect, not always
But there’s a connection and
It’s all pleasure to me
Let me love you like a song
That I always love to sing

Upcoming Publication!

My last poem hinted to it a bit, but, officially, I have great news!

A few months ago a representative from Z Publishing contacted me. They had seen one of my poems in my university’s literary arts magazine. They liked it and encouraged me to submit a few pieces for consideration for their upcoming “Best Emerging Poet’s” series for my state. I did so, and, amazingly, one of my pieces was accepted!

It has long been on my bucket list to have one of my poems printed in a hard copy book (especially one that you can BUY), so, needless to say, I am extremely excited!

If you are a fan of my writing (or just poetry in general), you can now preorder the book I will be featured in: “Indiana’s Best Emerging Poets.” If you are interested in the book and/or supporting me, please use this link to get to the site to order it:

http://www.zpublishinghouse.com?rfsn=927472.0e54d 

I will receive a small percentage of anything sold that you buy using this link. So while I would love for you to grab the book I’ll be featured in, if you want to grab another book that catches your eye… that is acceptable as well. ;)

I am so honored and humbled to be featured as one of Indiana’s “best emerging poets.” (A title I am not quite sure I deserve but am excited to receive!)

I also feel like there is a great lesson for any aspiring writers reading this: keep writing and submit it where you can. I never would have thought that having a few poems in my small college’s literary arts magazine would have led to anything. But here I am getting something put into a real anthology! So keep at it!

Consent

Composed 12/16/17
Description:  Inspired by life and the Daily Prompt: Meager.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

I had already given myself the talk
My worth is not based on
accomplishment, talent

I had already given up
talentless, hopeless
I should move on, forget it
This hobby, this dream

Then expectation overturned, reversed
giddiness, excitement
All was not as it seemed

Then passion, pride burned
In my chest as I freed
My own heart from this self-inflicted curse
Merely a meager word
Changed the course
Of my own history

Realization, turns pensive
Despite my faculties
I still allow others to own me

Unlikely Underdog 

Composed 11/26/17
Description: Inspired by life and the Daily Prompt: 
Underdog.

You borrow wit
and use it unwittingly
Plagiarizing for personal gain
Can reward even be reaped from
a minefield?

Worthy champions may traverse rough terrain
But how can they forgive
When wounded and wary they learn
you set the traps?

A drink is drunk
but drunk?
The only thing tipsy is the mind
Inhibitions unleashed by need
Not chemicals depressed, swaped, or unleashed

So that’s why I’m skeptical
It’s the endless cycle
The senseless torture
The only fault of man is his blissful ignorance or
Willingness
To be deceived for the time being
To gain some fake, small feeling

But really
It’s amazement
Some decency may be found so easily
For a poor act even temporary
But an attempt at earnesty, honesty, longevity
Is not scorned but ignored for what feels like centuries, perhaps eternity

It is
Frustrating
I must play an unlikely underdog
In a game I should be easily winning

Witchcraft

Composed 11/19/17
Description: Not so subtly inspired by my last post.

Don’t fear me
I have a disarming smile
And a degree in reflective listening
I was raised and trained with a customer service philosophy
I will not raise my voice
I will not contradict
So don’t fear me
Fear my pen
If you are rude or condescending
If you cloak yourself in arrogance and embrace ignorance
You will be a victim of the written word
Woven into rhyme, metaphor, and simile in my poetry
Masking your identity and yet
When in some happenstance you read
These rhymes and vague-told stories
I hope it makes you feel somehow, distinctly
Uneasy